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By PETA, our city was crowned The best place for veggies around Falafel’s delish But sometimes I wish That something more bold could be found

Of hope, it seems we have a glimmer The District weighs in a bit slimmer So go for it, fatties Eat bacon-topped patties But broccoli might keep you trimmer

For ages the District has waited And these dudes may soon be instated But Brady is noting That statues and voting Are not even slightly related

For those of the scofflaw persuasion Fuggedabout past tax evasion You criminals, hardened Will briefly be pardoned To bolster the budget equation