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If your shopping experience at Giant usually feels like a nightmare, at least you weren’t sprayed with semen on your way out. We wish we were kidding.

A woman was shopping at the Giant grocery store in Gaithersburg, MD when she noticed a man staring at her in the store. As she left, she felt a liquid hit her back and neck. She thought it was just water from the building’s overhang, but witnesses watched the creepo spray her with a liquid  and then run off and jump in a gray vehicle.

The woman was smart and turned over her clothes to police for testing. The crime lab tests came back. Yep, that was definitely human semen. Happens to the best of us, right? We never thought watery bird shit sounded so appealing until now.

So how did they catch the semen sprayer? They saw the man on surveillance footage and spotted him using a Giants reward card. Those reward cards will come back to bite you! Police arrested Michael Wayne Edwards Jr., 28, last week and charged him with second-degree assault. 

Please take a moment and look at this suspected semen sprayer! Could that smirk be any more cringe-worthy?

Does this situation sound strangely familiar? You could have been a victim too. Police believe this woman wasn’t the only one subjected to this man’s semen attack. If you think you were a victim, contact police at (301) 258-6400.

Check out the News4 video on the incident below. Worth watching just to hear the cop confirm she was hit with human semen:

Photo by katykash, via Flickr.