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Stop Us If You’ve Heard This One: At 2:21 p.m., the bulletin went out from the National Weather Service: “A SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WATCH IS IN EFFECT UNTIL 10 PM. A COLD FRONT WILL CROSS THE AREA… PRODUCING NUMEROUS THUNDERSTORMS. DAMAGING WIND GUSTS WILL BE THE PRIMARY THREAT.” Fun! By now, the routine should be more or less rote: prepare to swim home after Metro inevitably floods; watch for fires caused by exploding power transformers; expect long delays on any and every mode of transportation. Remember, should Washington Post media critic Howard Kurtz‘s power go out again, check back frequently with City Desk—your number one source for all Kurtz electricity-related news. -5

Daily Show Sells Out: Tickets for the October tapings of Jon Stewart‘s nightly skewering of politicians who so richly deserve it were snapped up in, oh, about the time it takes to watch a 30-second campaign ad. Which means, chances are, you’ll be watching the D.C. editions of The Daily Show the same way you watch the ones taped in New York: On your couch, alone (like always), dreaming in vain that you had John Hodgman there to laugh and/or snuggle with you. -4

Free Water Ice: A new branch of Rita’s Water Ice opened in Chinatown, and to celebrate, they’re giving their product away through Friday. In Philadelphia, from whence Rita’s hails, it’s pronounced “wood-er ice,” and for some reason, they call a combination of ice and custard “gelati,” even though it’s nothing like Italian gelato. Also, in Philadelphia they must also have ice made out of something besides water; otherwise, the term “water ice” seems rather redundant. +2

Bring Out Your Guns!: Prompted by last week’s shooting in Adams Morgan, the Metropolitan Police Department says it’ll pay rewards of up to $1,000 for tips that lead to the confiscation of illegal weapons. Presumably, MPD will be arresting people who have the guns in their possession, or there could be some good arbitrage opportunities for anyone willing to buy some guns online for 400 bucks, then turn themselves in to collect $1,000. If you’re wondering why AK-47s are for sale on the Internet, thank these bozos. And remember, guns don’t kill people, people do. It’s just that guns make it much, much easier. +2

Friday’s Needle rating: 47 Today’s score: -5 Today’s Needle rating: 42