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Restore Sanity Here: Information on the Oct. 30 Jon Stewart “Rally to Restore Sanity” has been dribbling out bit by bit since it was announced. Today’s news? The location! The rally will take place on the Mall between 3rd and 7th streets. Unless, of course, the rally’s FAQ page is just more fake news. No word yet on where Stephen Colbert‘s “Rally to Keep Fear Alive” is planned for; presumably, it’ll be somewhere scary. +2

Not the Change We Need: How bad have things gotten for President Barack Obama a month before the midterm elections? This bad: Two dozen people got dizzy and fainted at a campaign stop the president made in Bowie on behalf of Maryland Gov. Tommy Carcetti Martin O’Malley. Prince George’s County authorities say the warmer weather is to blame. But we know a socialist plot to sicken patriotic Americans when we see one. -3

Metro Takes a Holiday: The descriptions of all the service changes and outages scheduled for Metro this Columbus Day weekend are long and complicated, but they boil down to this: Don’t take the subway. The Blue and Orange lines will split in two, and you should expect to add 40 minutes to any trip on those lines. There’s also track work on the Red and Yellow lines. And it’s safe to assume a train will break down somewhere on the Green Line at some point, because when’s the last time 72 hours passed without that happening? Fortunately, it’s not a three-day weekend when a lot of tourists are expected to visit the District. Wait, what? Oh. -4

RIP, Ben: It’s been a year since Ben’s Chili Bowl founder Ben Ali died, and to mark the occasion, the restaurant is giving away memorial buttons to anyone who comes by the U Street landmark today. You can now get Ben’s half-smokes at RFK Stadium, Nationals Park, and Ben’s Next Door, besides the original location, and the tourists flocking to the place since Obama visited early last year sometimes make the line frustrating. So what? Places become legendary for a reason. +3

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 52 Today’s score: -2 Today’s Needle rating: 50