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Just Another Monday: In most of the country, Columbus Day is the sort of thing that passes without much notice, just another Arbor Day. Not so in the nation’s capital; here, preposterous Eurocentric implications of the holiday aside, the second Monday in October qualifies as a bona fide big deal. Metro running on holiday schedule, Sunday night parties at clubs around town, the whole works. We don’t celebrate the day at Washington City Paper. And if you do, you’re probably not reading this. +4

Condiment Wars: A tip for anyone who’s running a 7-Eleven out there—if someone comes in and just wants to use your ketchup, let ’em. Consider that a lesson learned from today’s fight at a 7-Eleven in Arlington, when a man attacked a store manager upon being told he couldn’t just slather their ketchup on the food he brought into the store from elsewhere. You wouldn’t think a convenience store that sells such gourmet items as Corn Dog Rollers would be so protective of its kitchen’s work. -2

Montgomery Creepy: Montgomery County is well on its way toward winning whatever prize goes to the jurisdiction with the grossest residents. Just a few months after the Gaithersburg debut of the semen sprayer, a man ejaculated on a patron at the Montgomery College Takoma Park/Silver Spring campus library. And a cab driver exposed himself to a woman in Takoma Park over the weekend. Yet another reason not to venture north of the District line. -5

MPD 1, Autobots 0: The first day of the District’s attempt to host a blockbuster action movie, and already, things are going to hell. The fancy sports car playing Bumblebee in Transformers 3 crashed into a Metropolitan Police Department SUV this afternoon, when some emergency vehicles drove through the movie’s set near Capitol Hill as an Autobot convoy was underway. Authorities say the wreck wasn’t supposed to happen, though with Hollywood’s viral marketing these days, who knows—the wreck, and for that matter, the entire Transformers 3 set, could just be part of an attempt to promote some other movie about cops crashing into stuntment. -2

Take That, Wisconsin!: Another week, another game the Redskins had no business winning. Last year, they wouldn’t have; this year, they did, beating the on-paper-vastly-superior Green Bay Packers 16-13 in overtime. The team is now 3-2, 75 percent of the way to last season’s win total. They still don’t actually seem to be playing well enough for us to revisit our pessimistic prediction of a 6-10 finish, but at this rate, they’re on track to prove us wrong. +3

Friday’s Needle rating: 48 Today’s score: -2 Today’s Needle rating: 46