Those PETA folks sure are astute They do more than shout, “cows pollute!” At noon they will blast The sound of gas passed As their ‘inconvenient (fake) toot’ Remiss if I do not opine on all that involves DC9 First charged with assault Now booze sales may halt Seems business (and fun) will decline

You talk while you drive in DC? You dumbass; that comes with a fee The news: cops are nabbing More drivers while gabbing So hang up or do it hands-free

Ms. Levy’s been dead such a while That jogging Rock Creek’s back in style The news is replete With many a tweet As Ingmar prepares to stand trial