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It’s Just Lunch: One man is at the crest of his political power, having just swept to office unchallenged except by a few write-in votes, a bugler, and the Socialist Workers Party. The other? Well, he’s seen better days. Such will be the backdrop as Almost Mayor Vince Gray joins President Obama for lunch on Dec. 1. Strangely, Obama didn’t see fit to mention the lunch date during his televised press conference this afternoon; Gray announced it at his own event in the morning. Where they’ll get together hasn’t been announced yet—perhaps in an effort to keep Still Mayor Adrian Fenty from crashing the date? +2

Heeeeeere’s Jason!: The elections last night didn’t just send Gray officially to the Wilson Building and give the United States its first-ever orange presumptive speaker of the House—they also left Utah Republican Jason Chaffetz in charge of our fair city, at least as far as the House of Representatives is concerned. The good news: City Paper will have no shortage of material over the next two years, as Chaffetz meddles with District affairs whenever things look awry to him from his cot in the Rayburn Building. The bad news: Everything else about Chaffetz taking over. -3

Who Needs a Diploma?: The Washington Wizards’ new rookie guard, John Wall, is the one making headlines lately. But D.C. United midfielder Andy Najar—who dropped out of high school in northern Virginia to join the team this season after coming up in its academy—was named Major League Soccer’s rookie of the year today. That’s little consolation for United fans who suffered through one of the team’s worst seasons ever (but it might make the autographed Najar cards sent out to anyone who renewed season tickets a little more of a prize), but hey, at least United isn’t working out JaMarcus Russell. +1

Don’t Drink the Water: A few years ago, the news that fish in the Potomac River were spontaneously changing genders made a bit of a splash, then faded away. Now male fish in the Susquehanna appear to have egg cells in their testes. Might there be some pollutant that’s causing this alarming phenomenon? Might some sort of government agency want to look into it? (Our bet: Probably not.) -2

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 47 Today’s score: -2 Today’s Needle rating: 45