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What Condom Are You?: First, the District started handing out Trojan Magnum condoms, in an attempt to encourage people who think the standard-issue sizes won’t fit them to use the free prophylactics. Now D.C. officials have set up an elaborate quiz designed to match would-be condom users’ personalities to their rubbers. Depending on what type of food you like, what type of music you listen to, what you drink when you’re out, and what your dream job is, it’ll recommend either standard latex condoms, flavored condoms, or extra-large condoms. Sure, this is a preposterous campaign, but in a city with a 3 percent HIV infection rate, why not give it a try? +3

Journalism Still Dying: By now, it’s hardly news that for-profit journalism is rapidly becoming an oxymoron. Apparently non-profit journalism won’t work, either; the Washington Independent, an investigative and policy site supported by charitable donations, closed up shop today, a victim—like many other non-profits—of the economy. The lesson: Everyone writing for Washington City Paper—and every other news organization—is mostly still in this business because we literally have no idea how to do anything else. -1

Metro Needs a Mayor: There’s the broken escalators, the bus drivers punching McGruff the Crime Dog, the subways crashing, the busted air conditioners. But the problems with our beloved transit agency go deeper than all that, a report out today says. A new governance structure is needed, a regional task force claims—and the mayor of D.C. needs to be on the Metro board. If Vince Gray knew that would be part of the job, would he still have challenged Adrian Fenty this fall? -2

Phone Books, RIP: That stack of phone books piled up in front of your apartment building? This year may be your last chance to come up with a conceptual art project using them. Verizon wants to stop delivering the white pages in Maryland and Virginia, and, eventually, also the District. You will still be able to order the directory on CD-ROM, though—an indication that Verizon hasn’t quite figured out the whole “obsolete technology” thing after all. +1

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 48 Today’s score: +1 Today’s Needle rating: 49