There’s still time to nominate local icons for Best of D.C.
The thought of four Walmarts enrages
But what if they paid decent wages?
Sold food fresh and canned
And we could demand
A store that had no twenty gauges
As if they could be more detested
(They’re snotty and sometimes arrested)
Now five of their dorms
Have bed bugs in swarms
It seems that these kids are infested
What condom best matches your soul?
To answer that, fill out this poll
Just taking the quiz
Won’t shield you from jizz
But may may make your day a bit droll
True, Walmart may get all the zeal
But me, I just want a good meal
So most of my fervor
I save for my server
At IHOP, ’cause now it’s for real