There’s still time to nominate local icons for Best of D.C.
What condom best matches your soul?
To answer that, fill out this poll
Just taking the quiz
Won’t shield you from jizz
But may may make your day a bit droll
True, Walmart may get all the zeal
But me, I just want a good meal
So most of my fervor
I save for my server
At IHOP, ’cause now it’s for real