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#Losing: Being a celebrity has its perks. Not included among those perks, apparently, is the right to get a police escort through downtown D.C. when you’re late to your own performance. Metropolitan Police Department Chief Cathy Lanier says there’s no way Charlie Sheen‘s police escort this week was appropriate under police rules. Which, of course, means Sheen will pay the city back for whatever the escort cost… right? -2

Please Tip Your Bartender’s Lawyer: The flood gates protecting Georgetown’s Washington Harbour complex would have been enough to keep water from inundating the bars and restaurants there this week—if they’d been set up, which they weren’t. How much money are the employees of the closed establishments missing out on? $5 million, according to a class-action lawsuit filed against the owners of the complex. That’s a lot of Bud Lites. –1

No Porn, Please, We’re a Library: A fight broke out recently at a Brooklyn library between a guy who wanted to watch pornography on one of the library’s computers and a guy who wanted to use the computer for something else (possibly to watch his own porn). District residents can rest easy; porn is generally blocked from libraries here by a systemwide Internet filter. Presumably, if the library hadn’t blocked it, Congress would have forced them to by now, anyway. -1

Bagged: D.C. is, officially, a national trendsetter. At least when it comes to bag taxes. Virginia Rep. Jim Moran, a Democrat, wants Congress to pass a national 5-cent-per-plastic bag surtax, inspired by the success a similar policy has had in reducing use of bags here in the District. Of course, since one of the first thing Republicans did upon taking control of the House this year was ditch the compostable cups and utensils being used in cafeterias, Moran isn’t likely to have much luck. +1

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 65 Today’s score: -3 Friday bonus: +2 Today’s Needle rating: 64