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A regular summary of irregular news and notes from neighborhood blogs and email lists around the District.

Overzealous: One member of the Adams Morgan email list has penned quite the open letter to a “parking vigilante on California Street.” They write: “To the Parking Vigilante of California Street, After you glued your ‘TOW’ sign to the door of my car, I tried to imagine what kind of person would vandalize another’s automobile for a parking violation. I came up with the following profile:

You were the overzealous hall monitor in grammar school
You reminded the teacher that (s)he forgot to assign homework
You were voted ‘Most Likely to Become a Quisling’ by your graduating class
You always wanted to be a Parking Violation Officer but failed the psychological
You are a coward

I apologize to the community for my parking peccadillo. What I did was thoughtless but what you did was malicious. There is some consolation in the knowledge that wherever you go in your sad little life, you bring your bitter small minded self with you. Remember the words the great philosophers Abbott and Costello: ‘Time wounds all heels.'”

Gossiping Hens: In response to a question about police activity at Potomac Gardens—”What is the police activity at Potomac Gardens about? Four policemen on bikes were outside the windows of an apartment fronting 12th Street about 15 minutes”—a member of the New Hill East email list snipes, “Boy, the trials and travails of other people certainly give you a thrill, don’t they? It’s a bad habit on this listserve that the most burning questions usually involve police activity, ambulances, etc. Such nosy nosy people…always eager for details about bad things happening. You are not alone—there are several repeat offenders who fly right to the listerve at all hours to find out the dirty details. Do you live in Potomac Gardens. Is this REALLY any of your business? Does it materially impact you or your life? Maybe if you and your ‘what’s happening so and so place’ brethern were to be out of the house volunteering or doing something of help to others, you wouldn’t be around to witness the bad you so eagerly blog about enquire about…and there might be less ‘bad’ happeningin in the world. It’s like a clutch of old gossiping hens around here sometimes… old cackling hens who like to hear and know the worst.” Another member, who describes themselves as a “veteran urban dweller,” answers the screed by saying, “It is everyones business if we are seeking information regarding dangerous situations. Hope you understand…”

To Market Season: On Twitter, many a Bloomingdale resident heralded the return of the neighborhood farmers market. Similar markets are beginning to open up elsewhere in the city, too. The Brightwoodian reports that beginning May 22, the Takoma farmers market will also host a bike clinic, and Rhode Island Avenue Insider posts notice of a possible market endeavor on northern Rhode Island Avenue NE.

Historically Accurate Palisades Problems: On the Palisades email list, a member sent out a link to a blog post with a 1958 Washington Post report detailing a 13-year-old girl’s getting trapped in a cave near the Potomac. The member inquires, “If anybody knows a person cited in the article please let me know.”