Work to Bike Day: Every year, Bike to Work Day seems like more of an anachronism in the District, where the sight of people in suits cruising along in bike lanes in the morning has become more and more common. That doesn’t mean it’s entirely safe out on the roads though—early today, as Bike to Work Day was just getting rolling, a cyclist was hit at 18th Street and Columbia Road NW. Still, organizers say 11,000 people participated in this year’s festivities—and that doesn’t count people like those of us at Washington City Paper, who didn’t bother to register because stopping at Freedom Plaza to pick up a free water bottle on our way to work would have made for a four-mile detour. +3

This Is Why You’re Fat: As many as one of every three adults in the United States is obese, according to government statistics, in part because portions have grown steadily over the years (it’s not just Starbucks, after all, where what used to be the biggest order possible is now the smallest). Pica Taco, at 14th Street and Florida Avenue NW, is doing its part to make sure obesity trends continue: The restaurant is offering a four-pound burrito this weekend, calling it “El Toro.” Finish the whole thing in 45 minutes or less, and you get it free, as well as a t-shirt and a coupon for Lipitor. (No, not really–just a t-shirt.) Dally over your calorie bomb, and you have to pay the restaurant $15. Pica Taco runs the contest every now and then; of the 60 people who have tried, only six have succeeded. No word on how many of the winners are still alive. -2

The Book of Jobs: The recession continues to be over, at least officially, and yet people continue to have trouble finding work. In the District, unemployment ticked up in April by .1 percent, to 9.6 percent. Maryland and Virginia both saw their unemployment rates drop by .1 percent; it’s now 6.8 percent in Maryland and 6.1 percent in Virginia. We’re glad all the professional economists are still gainfully employed so they can tell us all about how much things have recovered. -2

Hell No, We Won’t Tailgate: In the last two years, four people have died in drunk-driving-related accidents after leaving the Venue Formerly Known as Nissan Pavilion, Jiffy Lube Live. So this year, the facility decided preventing people who attend concerts there from drinking for hours beforehand while hanging out in the parking lot might make some sense. In response, die-hard day drinkers have banded together through that great tool of social movements from Egypt to Vienna, Va.: Facebook. More than 6,100 people have “liked” a new group calling for a boycott of Jiffy Lube Live over the policy. Which, really, seems to prove the venue right; if you’re not interested in going to the shows unless you can drink in the parking lot ahead of time, maybe you’re better off just sitting at home, drinking and listening to your iPod. -1

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 63 Today’s score: -2 Friday bonus: +2 World might end tomorrow: -1 Today’s score: 62