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Eyes Wanted: The Metropolitan Branch Trail might only have a short paved section, but it’s an efficient way to get to points downtown, around NoMa, and several other Northeast neighborhoods. However, it’s faced growing pains since it opened last year, and one Prince of Petworth reader writes in with another harrowing tale: “I spotted the taser in the assailants hand and swerved enough at the last second to avoid being jolted by it. I heard it and saw the ‘spark’ but he just about completely missed me, I’ve felt a larger shock when I was plugging in a lamp.” The ending could’ve been worse, but reportedly, the cops advised the rider to stay off the trail in the future—ignoring Jane Jacobs’ insistence that more eyes on the street, not less, increases public safety. -3

Think of It as Exercise: Everyone knows that about a bajillion of Metro’s escalators are malfunctioning  at any given time. But, The Examiner put a number on just how many stopped moving during yesterday’s heat: one-fifth, or 126 out of 588 system-wide. On Monday, 113 escalators ground to a halt. Last Wednesday, 110. Like a lot of folks, the escalators get cranky when temperatures rise. With yesterday’s record-breaking heat, it looks like it’s going to be a long, hot summer in which you might have to get up the escalators on your own. -2

Health Hazard: Georgetown Cupcake’s confections are apparently so enticing they distract customers from staying on the sidewalk. The Georgetown Dish reports the cupcake shop—catapulted to fame, at least in the eyes of many a D.C. tourist, by a TLC reality show—has hired private security guards to ensure that pedestrians waiting on the sidewalk don’t idly disrupt car traffic or those just trying to hurry past the M Street NW business. Apparently, “The intersection is not simple to figure out for motorists or for pedestrians, and hasn’t become any easier with the heavy foot traffic of cupcake seekers.” Too much sugar got to their heads, eh? +1

About 1,035 Bottles in Total on the Wall: Adams Morgan’s Jack Rose staked its claim several weeks before it opened: It would absolutely annihilate any other bar professing to peddle scotch with a collection of some 1,000 varieties. Whether this is actually awesome or simply just gimmicky is up for debate, but in the meantime, the establishment’s roof deck will go live tomorrow evening. Eater DC reports that the deck will open for “a beer event and will remain open through the weekend and thereafter.” But you’d better hope the weather’s nice: Jack Rose’s interior is inaccessible to patrons until June 14. +3

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 58 Today’s score: -1 Today’s Needle rating: 57