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Kids R Us: Don’t believe the hype about how no one can raise children without moving to the ‘burbs! A new ranking from Parenting magazine declares D.C. the best city in the country to raise kids (in the latest installment of Arbitrary National Rankings we collect here). The District edged out Austin, Texas, Boston, and Minneapolis/St. Paul to come in first. In D.C.’s favor: Museums, and lots of ’em, as well as restaurants and the cherry blossoms. So don’t tell Parenting about the beavers. +2

Hands Off D.C.: The level of federal meddling in next year’s District budget appears to be limited to a dull roar. The GOP’s spending plan would ban the city from using federal money on medical marijuana, needle exchange programs, or abortions for poor women—but it wouldn’t restrict how local money is used. Which means if you support medicinal pot, your best bet is to rack up a lot of parking tickets. +1

Two Counties for Old Men: Expect a general increase in crotchety old-timers who fondly recall the way the Washington area was decades ago. A new study shows Fairfax and Montgomery counties rank number one and number three, respectively, in life expectancy for men in the nation. For women, Montgomery was the fifth-highest, and Fairfax the eighth. (Women everywhere live longer than men.) Back in our day, these studies weren’t big news. +1

I Share, You Share, We All Share With BikeShare: No one likes to be left out, not even states. Which is why news that Rockville may join D.C., Arlington, and Alexandria in offering Capital BikeShare use isn’t a surprise. A $1.9 million federal grant would pay for 200 bikes at 20 stations around the Rockville and Shady Grove stations on Metro’s Red Line. (You could ride one from Shady Grove downtown, but chances are you wouldn’t be able to do it in the 30 free minutes you get before fees kick in.) Cue the wait for some overzealous House Republican to complain about federal dollars being spent on bikes. +2

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 57 Today’s score: +6 Today’s Needle rating: 63