This morning’s Washington Post broke new ground in a genre most experts thought was entirely tapped out by now: Whiny ex-New Yorkers bitching about how much they hate D.C.

Style feature writer Monica Hesse chronicled a meeting of a group of nearly a dozen and a half New York expats who’ve formed a club they call the Fellowship of Unassimilated Manhattan Exiles, or FUME. Meeting at a ritzy tequila bar of the sort most expats like to pretend doesn’t exist here (“The partying continues… NYC style,” an invitation to the gathering reads), FUME’s members gripe about how difficult it is to buy a newspaper in the District. Or get Chinese food.

The standard reaction to this sort of fare—”So go back to New York!”—doesn’t apply here; the group’s founder, former Politico staffer Pia Catton, has done just that. But it’s still worth examining FUME a bit more closely. TBD has already pointed out that even New Yorkers don’t like people who think Manhattan is the center of the world; Twitter has already pointed out that the Post‘s characterization of D.C. as “a whole city of expats” ignores the thousands and thousands of us who were born here and don’t feel the need for an embassy to rally around (even an embassy that serves $80 tequila shots and boring tacos).

What no one’s pointed out yet, though, is that one of FUME’s stalwarts, education policy wonk Emily Anthony, hates D.C. so much that she… had her wedding written up in the local paper. (Yes, the same local paper that wrote up FUME, and the one that, apparently, no New York expats have figured out can be delivered to their homes so they don’t need to buy it at CVS.) We had to figure that out by Googling her name, though, because we hadn’t read about it in the Post; real Washingtonians, of course, get their news about the weddings of people with advanced degrees in the New York Times. Which publishes a Washington edition.

Leave weddings aside, though. In the end, like so many New York-beats-D.C. arguments, FUME’s comes down to bagels. And while we think it’s typically a fool’s errand to compare D.C. and New York as if one city weren’t more than 10 times bigger than the other, on the bagel front, there’s no question who comes out ahead.

After all, if you want to get H&H bagels at a neighborhood deli, New York’s got nothing for you anymore. Welcome to D.C., everyone!

Photo by midweekpost via Flickr/Creative Commons Attribution 2.0