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Wonderland Bandits: Five years ago, a gang of men rushed into Wonderland Ballroom, in Columbia Heights, wearing masks and carrying guns, and robbed patrons and employees alike. Apparently that sort of thing still works; three armed robbers held the bar up again last night, around 1:45 a.m. Police apprehended one of the suspects shortly afterwards, but two others remain at large. Perhaps the bar should implement a no masks allowed policy? -3

Fugazi Clan Ain’t Nothin’ To Fuck With: When it first appeared last month, the Fugazi/Wu-Tang Clan mashup “Sleep Rules Everything Around Me,” by Wugazi, seemed like it had to be a one-off project. Sure, mixing the Staten Island rap collective and the Dischord Records stalwarts sounded amazing, but how many times could you do it? A few more songs trickled out of Tumblr, though, and today, a whole album, 13 Chambers, arrived. Maybe this means the long-hoped-for Fugazi reunion can also feature a Wu-Tang show! +2

Youth On Fire: Two summers ago, an alarming spate of robberies occurred, all with similar details—kids wearing blue Summer Youth Employment Program t-shirts would be mugged on payday, by people who knew they were in the District government-sponsored jobs corps and had debit cards loaded with cash. Now the city’s trying to prevent a repeat: Firefighters will deploy on Wednesday paydays to help keep kids out of trouble. No word on what will happen if the firefighters are also mugged, or if they have to leave to put out a fire. -1

No We Can’t: The White House did nothing about the fact that the District government would have closed along with the federal government back in April (the last time our national leaders teetered on the edge of a calamity). And when it came time to negotiate a deal to keep things operating, President Barack Obama bowed to GOP demands to ban local spending on abortions. They’re at it again; the White House says House Republicans’ plans to keep the abortion ban in next year’s budget undermines Home Rule, but won’t threaten to veto the D.C. spending bill over it. Keep it up, Mr. President, and Mark Plotkin will really be upset about the fact you won’t put “Taxation Without Representation” license plates on your limo. -3

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 48 Today’s score: -5 Today’s Needle rating: 43