No, Really, I Want To Drive A Metrobus: Last summer, Metro officials were embarrassed to admit that a 19-year-old who didn’t work for the agency, William Jackson, had been able to walk into a garage, drive a bus out, and run the B2 route, picking up riders, until he crashed into a tree. Jackson was charged with stealing the bus, but apparently that didn’t stop him. Twice since then, he’s shown up at Metro properties with a uniform or an employee ID card that he shouldn’t have had. Metro, when fate is calling that loudly, you can’t resist it—give the kid a job, already. +1

The Rent Is Too Damn High: D.C. Councilmember Marion Barry may want to ban new apartment buildings from Ward 8, but it’s other wards west of Rock Creek Park that really need attention, at least according to a new report from the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights. Few rent-subsidized apartments are available west of the park, landlords frequently refuse to rent to black tenants, and builders are putting up new units that disabled people can’t access, the report found. Worst part of the report: None of that will come as news to anyone who’s been trying to find affordable housing in teh District. -3

BikeShare, Now With More Tourists: Capital BikeShare often feels like a victim of its own success—so many people have joined that it’s hard to find a bike (or a place to park a bike) when you need one. Add to the list of BikeShare users a whole new category: Guests at Kimpton hotels. DDOT officials and the hotel chain are giving free 24-hour memberships to everyone at the seven properties the chain owns in the District. The memberships even come with helmets, so Kimpton guests can live to stay another night. +1

Know It When We See It: There are some basic characteristics you want in the people charged with educating your children—they should be inspiring, intelligent, caring, and they should, ideally, not be into child pornography. Fauquier County officials appear to agree with that last one, if nothing else; they say Joshua Myers, 29, of Warrenton, is no longer up for a promotion to principal of Brumfield Elementary School, where he’s the assistant principal, now that he’s been arrested on three federal child porn-related charges. Got to have some standards, after all. -1

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 42 Today’s score: -2 Friday bonus: +2 Today’s Needle rating: 42