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Washington, Not D.C.: For residents of the District, looking at Twitter this weekend was even more alarming than usual. A charming slogan—#FuckYouWashington—threatened to take over the site. But this had nothing to do with Harry Thomas Jr.‘s nonprofits, or the fate of Tommy Wells, or any of the local scandals that get myopic little twits here worked up; the hashtag was the handiwork of blogger Jeff Jarvis, and it was an expression of outrage over the (completely outrageous) inability of Congress to raise the national debt ceiling. Which is a sentiment we here in D.C. can certainly endorse, especially since it’s not actually directed our way. +1

No Water, Please, We’re Metro: Temperature records weren’t the only things that fell during last week’s heat wave; Metro also backed down on its long-standing ban of food and drink on subway cars, allowing riders to hydrate while in the system. Which probably makes sense, considering how frequently the air conditioning breaks. With today’s forecast high only 92, the ban is back, but don’t worry—another heat wave is predicted later this week, so you may not have missed your chance. -2

All the Brown, and All the White: And now, time for another installment of arbitrary national rankings! In today’s episode, D.C. is declared the third-booziest “state” in the country, thanks to a new study from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Where do they drink more than here? In South Dakota and North Dakota, apparently. +1

Kastles Are Khampions: Team tennis is a concept that never made a whole lot of sense to us; we’re no experts, but we’re pretty sure you can’t actually play a tennis match with more than four people at a time. Nevertheless, with the D.C. sports scene in as dismal state as it is, we won’t quibble with the notion that a team from here won its league. The Washington Kastles, in their inaugural season at a new facility near the Southwest waterfront, went 16-0, wrapping up the World Team Tennis title this weekend by defeating the St. Louis Aces on a neutral court in Charleston, S.C. Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing. +3

Friday’s Needle rating: 39 Today’s score: +3 Today’s Needle rating: 42