Can You Pay My Bills?: The last time the U.S. faced a major budget crisis was in April, when it wasn’t clear that Congress would be able to get its collective shit together to pass legislation in time to keep the government of the nation that purports to be the most powerful in the world from closing for lack of funds. Here in D.C., we realized pretty quickly that our local government would be collateral damage in a stalemate. Lesson learned: D.C. Council Chairman Kwame “Fully Loaded” Brown has, apparently, been watching the news lately, as he’s called a special session Monday to brief lawmakers on what would happen if Congress didn’t raise the U.S. debt limit and the government had to shift money around. That doesn’t leave a whole lot of time to figure out a contigency plan; we assume the District has been quietly stockpiling Swiss francs. -1

Summer Still Hot: Learn any good tips for staying cool during last week’s record-breaking heat wave? Good news: You’ll have the chance to test them out very soon. Record heat is due back tomorrow, with forecast highs between 98 and 103 degrees, and heat indices of 105 to 110 expected. Don’t tell the heartless managers at Metro, though; they have no plans to bring back last week’s short-lived policy allowing water on the subway. -1

Today, Arlington; Tomorrow, The World: The Internet truly must be a force for good. How else would the world have heard of Remy Munasifi? The Arlington resident won fame, or at least mild infamy, for his “Arlington: The Rap” video two years ago, and now he’s moved on to bigger subjects. Working with Reason magazine, Munasifi has a new track out about, naturally, the debt ceiling. Considering the Post‘s Capital Weather Gang officially nicknamed the heat wave “Sweat Ceiling,” we can’t say we’re surprised. +1

Albert Haynesworth, No Longer Our Problem: As the Philadelphia Eagles humiliated the Washington Redskins on national television last year, overpaid bench-warmer Albert Haynesworth provided the iconic moment of his time in D.C., laying on the field as Eagles QB Michael Vick waltzed past him for a touchdown. Those days are over. The Redskins traded Haynesworth to the New England Patriots Thursday, getting a fifth-round draft pick in exchange. Which looks like a bad deal for a guy who made as much money as he did, until you remember watching him laying on the field as Michael Vick waltzed past him for a touchdown. +3

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 44 Today’s score: +2 Today’s Needle rating: 46