Suspicious Nunnery: A member of the Cleveland Park email list reported some suspicious-looking, possible Ben-Affleck-in-The Town-copy-cats snooping around the neighborhood. He wrote, “I’m posting this report out of an abundance of caution. On Saturday evening, July 30 around 11:30 pm, I observed a female wearing what was similar to a nun’s habit on the porch of a home on Macomb St. NW near 34th St. The subject parked a silver van near Macomb and 34th St. and subsequently walked to the porch of a nearby home which had few lights on. The subject did not appear to enter the home, rather look through windows. Early Tuesday morning, August 2 around 1:30 am, I observed the same silver van turn off 34th St. onto Macomb…Both subjects wore all black clothing, probably religious in nature.” A report of the shady nun behavior was filed with the police.

Heartbroken, New York: A member of the Takoma D.C. email list asked neighbors to be on the lookout for a lost souvenir. She wrote, “Yesterday, between the time a friend brought my 2 1/2 year old a gift from NYC (a “I heart NYC” tee) and us walking the 20 feet back into our house, we lost said gift. After scouring our yard, our only thought is that it was dropped out on the sidewalk in front of our house (where we originally received it).” The shirt was later located by the owner, to which another email list member replied: “yay!!!”

Desperate Bride to Enter Suburbs: Though the neighborhood might be replete with running nuns, a soon-to-be bride in Cleveland Park has grown so desperate for a trustworthy seamstress that she may travel outside the Beltway. She wrote on the neighborhood email list, “My regular wedding alterations person is booked and I called too late. Are there any affordable alterations people who can be trusted to raise a very simple hemline without charging an arm and a leg?” She added: “I’m willing to drive into the suburbs too.”