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This One’s for the History Books: Hayden Panettiere was in town today. But the actress, who has recently appeared in Scream 4 and Heroes, wasn’t filming anything. “About to present a proclamation declaring#HaydenPanettiere Day in District 4 her work on behalf of DC self-determination,” tweeted Mayor Vince Gray. A spokesperson from the mayor’s office told Politico, “This is not a joke,” going on to say that the actress has “been, for several years now, an activist for D.C. self-determination and statehood”—though the details of that support are unclear. Despite the fact that the girl’s now got a day dedicated to her, her last name is still really hard to spell. +1

Lame Dormfellows: Someone’s not too happy with Catholic University’s recently-instituted same-sex dorm ruling—and it’s not a CUA student. WTOP reports that John Banzhaf, a public interest law professor at George Washington University, “has filed a legal complaint against Catholic University under the D.C. Human Rights Act.” (Banzhaf compares CUA’s sexually segregated dorms to the notion of sorting students per their sexual orientation or religion.) Unsurprisingly, CUA officials aren’t commenting on the campus’ sleeping arrangements. -3

The Twittering Class: Once upon a time, Washington Post Courtland Milloy columnist tap-danced on the grave of Adrian Fenty‘s mayoral campaign by hurling at his supporters the insult “myopic little twits.” That time was one short year ago, DCist reminds us. The phrase has, unsurprisingly, wormed its way into the local lexicon. Too bad Hayden stole this holiday’s thunder with her voting-rights schtick; “Myopic Little Twits Day” has a much better ring to it. +1

In Georgetown, There Are Many Strange Characters: Homicide Watch has posted the full text of Albrecht Muth‘s statement from his preliminary hearing a week ago, where he claimed his detention in D.C. Jail went against the Geneva Convention. Muth, you’ll recall, has been charged with of second-degree murder of his wife, Viola Drath. His statement, which is written by hand, is as indecipherable as the rest of his actions. -3

Yesterday’s Needle rating70 Today’s score: -4 Friday Bonus Points: +2 Today’s Needle rating: 68