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Recycling Legislation: Our federal overlords on Capitol Hill generate 5,300 tons of solid waste a year; after all, as any Tea Party activist will tell you, most bills are hundreds and hundreds of pages long, and printing them all out means a lot of garbage. Now the Architect of the Capitol has grand visions of burning any trash that isn’t recycled—in order to generate steam, which will, in turn, yield electricity. The waste is enough to power the Dirksen Senate Office Building for months. The jokes, meanwhile, will write themselves. +1
Embassy Not So Sweet: For the capital city of the country that likes to take so much pleasure in its global hegemony, D.C. is largely free of the sort of Cold War-era international mayhem that, say, postwar Vienna was famous for. But authorities say the Iranian government may have been behind a foiled plot to bomb the Saudi and Israeli embassies here, which would certainly have changed all that. How alarmed to be about the plot isn’t entirely clear; the FBI says the bombings would have killed lots of people, but there’s also the not-so-small matter of the fact that no bombs were ever actually planted. Look for many references to this plot in future bellicose op/ed columns about Tehran, though. -2
Obama Street Market?: This year’s version of “shovel-ready projects” the 2009 stimulus bill made famous is a new list of projects the White House wants to fund quickly in order to help make the economy show some semblance of life. And the O Street Market, in Shaw, has made the cut, along with 13 other development initiatives around the country. Being on the list means a faster review for federal loans, permits, and other assistance. Unless, of course, the GOP steps in to prevent such obvious Communism. +2
Stabbing, Masturbating Both Discouraged on Buses: Being a Metrobus driver seems like a thankless task. Haul commuters around all day, get stuck in traffic, deal with the usual gripes about public servants—and, apparently, also get stabbed by guys who don’t like it when you ask them to stop masturbating on board. So it went at the Silver Spring Metro station last night, where passenger Victor McEachin, 52, of Silver Spring, is accused of stabbing a bus driver during an argument prompted by the driver’s suggestion that his bus should be a McEachin-penis-free zone. Police say they caught McEachin with a knife and with marijuana. The bus driver is recovering. -2
Yesterday’s Needle rating: 63 Today’s score: -1 Today’s Needle rating: 62