Armed And Dangerous: The national news media got very excited Friday night, as word broke that there had been some gunshots a few blocks from the White House. Early reports made it sound like the weapon might have been aimed at the executive mansion. But quickly, it became clear that it was just a coincidence; the people allegedly shooting at each other didn’t have anything to do with the president. Which meant it was just another shooting in D.C., and therefore, not a big deal to the rest of the country. Police are searching for Oscar Ramiro Ortega in connection with the incident. -2

Get Used To Traffic: Hoping Metro will eventually make the gridlock and traffic jams of the present a distant memory? Don’t hold your breath. Virginia officials say the current transportation system will pretty much be what we’re stuck with for the future, thanks to budget constraints, other than expansions that are already in the works, like the Silver Line. In other words, time to buy a bike. -2

Today In Taxation Without Representation: Good news and bad news out of Congress today with regard to the District’s longstanding gripe about not being able to spend local dollars without federal approval. The good news: Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calif., he of the Sulaimon Brown investigation, may introduce a bill to give D.C. more budget autonomy. The bad news: The bill would ban the District from spending any local money on abortion. It’s autonomy with built-in interference! If only Congress could be this creative in thinking about other problems, the budget deficit would be solved already. -2

Sexy Wreck-sy: Now the world knows again what we first learned earlier this year: Rex “Sexy Rexy” Grossman is not a good quarterback. Of course, neither is John Beck, the guy Redskins coach Mike Shanahan benched Grossman for, then benched for Grossman this past weekend. The Redskins went to Miami and lost 20-9 to the Dolphins, extending their current losing streak to five games, the longest of Shanahan’s coaching career. Unfortunately, having already won three games, there’s little chance the Redskins will manage to finish with the league’s worst record so they can draft Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck. -2

Friday’s Needle rating: 38 Today’s score: -8 Today’s Needle rating: 30