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Over on Gawker, New Yorkers are sharing horrific stories of dating men in the financial industry, a sector as rich in self-importance as it is impoverished in actual social skills. Sound familiar, singletons of the District?

Here in the DMV, we know from abhorrent! Send us your prototypical D.C. dating stories—disappointing dalliances with Hill staffers, policy wonks, or anyone else who grotesquely and stereotypically embodied every fear you had about prospective partners in the nation’s capitol. I bet there’s at least one ex-boyfriend out there who refers to his penis as “the candidate,” or my middle name isn’t “Pageview!”

We’ll print the best (read: worst) stories you send to dating@washingtoncitypaper.com here on the site, no names attached. Feel free to give us stories involving loathsome women of D.C., as well as men, but we suspect we know how the gender split will work on this one.