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Tickle Me Jordans: Remember 1996, when Tickle Me Elmo was all the rage and store clerks were getting injured by people desperate to have them, and those people were desperate to have them because they could resell them for approximately $1 million? Apparently the new Air Jordans are the new Tickle Me Elmo! “At 5 a.m., police were called to the St. Charles Town Center after hundreds of people forced their way inside three of the mall’s entrances to be among the first in line to purchase the new Air Jordan Retro Concord tennis shoes, scheduled to go on sale at 6 a.m.” -4

Well, How Many Tickets Is It?: Yesterday we noted that food trucks are being targeted by DPW—-who claims it’s handed out 68 tickets to mobile kitchens. Yet Josh Saltzman of the PORC food truck says he’s gotten 40 of them on his own. And Brian Farrell of the Basil Thyme truck writes in the comments, “Yea I have 14. So, between Josh and I somehow we’ve got 79% of them all, between two trucks..(out of 60+) OR DPW numbers are off. One or the other. *shrug*.” Shrug, indeed. -5

Missteps for Mayor: Mayor Vince Gray is like, totally over this whole low poll numbers thing. He tells WTOP: “It probably relates to some of things that happened in earlier in the year, some of the missteps that occurred. Those are things for which I have taken responsibility, I think we have moved past those.” Optimism! +1

Obvious Advice: A woman leaving the Greenbelt metro station at 4  a.m. was dragged into the woods by at least four men who gang raped her. While the cops search for the suspects, Metro offers advice: stay in lit areas and walk in groups to avoid being raped. No word on what advice they have for would-be rapists to help them avoid raping. -5

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 60 Today’s score: -13 Friday Bonus: +5 Holiday Bonus: +3 Today’s Needle rating: 55