A regular summary of irregular news and notes from neighborhood blogs and email lists around the District.

Who Let the “Dogs” Out? Someone on the New Hill East email list wants to return a lost, mysterious, canine-like creature—sometimes referred to as a “dog”—to its rightful owner. “Found ‘dog’ today in a parking lot in the 20003 area,” the user writes. The subject of the email reads, “Missing a Keeshond like dog?” Sources confirm that the pooch is, in fact, a Keeshon—and is unambiguously a dog.

_Unimpressed_: Although a member of the Shepherd Park email list commended Police Chief Cathy Lanier’s initiative in addressing neighborhood crime issues, he was “particularly _unimpressed_with the Deputy Mayor’s suggestion that DPW parking enforcement officers are playing a part in keeping an eye on our neighborhood for potential criminal activity. What a joke.” He goes on write, “These are the same folks who ticket your car repeatedly after it’s stolen and sitting on some street in SE somewhere.” However, this Shepherd Park resident has apparently been told that this mix-up is due to “something about computer systems not being compatible and that ‘they’re working on it.’”

Hula and Hip-Strain: Someone in Chevy Chase is “Seeking Ukulele for an Elderly Resident’s Birthday.” That about says it all. It remains unclear what the party theme could be.

De-escalation: “If you use Metro’s southern Dupont station entrance on the regular, you’ll need to find an alternative routine for most of 2012,” warns The 42 Bus. The Washington Post reports that Metro is closing the station to replace 3 escalators. Highly skeptical about the 8 month projection for project completion, The 42 Bus writes, “Let’s come back to this on Jan. 1, 2013 and see where the project stands.” The Hill is Home also wonders, “Are we not yet able to perfect this technology?” We expect the answer to become clear in about 8 months.