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Banned in Capitol Hemp: Local hemp purveyors Capitol Hemp have ceased selling quite a bit of literature after the owners were advised by their lawyers to cool it on titles like The Cannabis Closet and The Emperor Wears No Clothes: The Authoritative Historical Record of Cannabis and the Conspiracy Against Marijuana. The Adams Morgan Capitol Hemp location was raided by police last year, and the logic goes that if the shop carries fewer incendiary titles, there will be less pretext for a second raid. -1

Department of Obvious Statements: WTOP discovers that, when it’s 70 degrees and sunny in February, people like to play hooky from work. (Evidence for this comes from careerbuilder.com, which says, “nearly three in 10 workers called in sick with a fake excuse in the last year.”) Because, you know, it’s not like we haven’t had days upon days of unnaturally warm weather this winter. Going Out Guide also suggested what dipsetting employees should do with their free day—as if one might ditch work and then find oneself bored. Whatever. We’re going for a bike ride. +1

Feast Your Eyes: Are you hungry? This slideshow—of the D.C. area’s ultimate food challenges— from the Washington Post’s Going Out Guide will either have you running for the nearest burger joint or swearing off everything but spinach and chia seeds for the next month. Of the Monster Burger at Duffy’s Irish Pub, the Post writes, “It also packs enough blunt force sodium to dehydrate a water bed.” Other comestibles from restaurants in D.C. proper include the nine-pounder burger at BGR and “The Pitmaster,” “a quarter-pound of lean brisket, a pair of pork and beef ribs, a quarter chicken and a pound of side items, not to mention corn bread,” from Hill Country Barbecue. -2

Wawa Comin’: Wawa is unfairly teasing D.C. by announcing plans for expansion—in the region. The convenience store/gas station won’t set up shop in D.C. because it, apparently, doesn’t have an applicable urban model. Much like Wegman’s, which requires astoundingly large parking minimums, Wawa wants space for its gas-station component. So more Wawas might, in the future, pop up as nearby as the current closest outpost—which is in Beltsville.  We’re with DCist on this one: Try harder to make it work, Wawa. We want our touch-screen sandwich operation and Arnold Palmers. -2

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 55 Today’s score: -4 Today’s Needle rating: 51