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Who Wants To Buy A Diner?: Having your restaurant close up shop for lack of business is no great indignity; dining is a tough market, after all. But having to sell it on eBay afterwards must sting a bit. The erstwhile Capital City Diner is doing just that, though. The good news: It could be yours for only $80,000! The bad news: You’d have to move it. -2

Who Wants To Buy A Very Expensive House?: Want more proof the housing market in D.C. isn’t quite the same as the housing market in the rest of the country? The city’s most expensive home just hit the market, and it’s listed at $16.1 million. The mansion on Chain Bridge Road NW has ten bathrooms and seven bedrooms, a four-car garage, a ballroom, a guest house, and a pool, as well as 16,500 square feet. And with an FHA loan, you’d only need to put down $565,000 for the mortgage! +1

Who Wants To Buy A $20 Food Truck Sandwich?: The new trend in the restaurant world is turning food trucks into brick-and-mortar spaces, and vice versa. And now D.C.’s most famous chef is joining in. José Andrés has launched his new food truck, Pepe’s, along with a menu topped by a $20 sandwich of jamón Iberico. The truck’s debut in Penn Quarter today drew a crowd before it even opened; the sandwich was quite tasty, even after an intern brought it back to the office some 30 minutes later. Yes, it’s expensive, but those Spanish pigs are delicious. +2

Who Wants To Buy A Dutch Bike On H Street NE?: And now, a new frontier in gentrification—hipster-friendly bikes for sale down the block from the city’s latest nightlife destination! A new bike shop, The Daily Rider, is set to open soon on H Street NE, and it’s pitching itself squarely at the myopic little twits who have moved into the neighborhood lately, with a stock of commuter bikes and helmets disguised to look like porkpie hats. +1

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 65 Today’s score: +2 Today’s Needle rating: 67