City Paper is not for tourists
A regular summary of irregular news and notes from neighborhood blogs and email lists around the District.
My Humps: A suggestion of some sort of traffic-slowing mechanism in McLean Gardens by an ANC commissioner in a letter to DDOT has sent the email list into a tizzy. The commissioner proposed, among other things, speed humps (“As compared to the bumps on Newark Street, these would be lower and wider, discouraging speeding through neighborhoods without forcing extreme deceleration to 10-15 mph”)—and despite this description, had to clarify in a later email: “I have heard you LOUD AND CLEAR that many of you DO NOT want speed BUMPS. (Sorry for the caps but I want to get your attention an avoid a needless repetition of te last discussion that bordered on an argument, and I don’t want my position or letter misinterpreted.) What I said in my letter (I think twice) is that many of you are opposed to speed Bumps. My letter does NOT propose speed bumps. Bumps are different from Humps — we do not have humps in our neighborhood (not as defined in my letter, anyway).” Nonetheless, some list members still really don’t like the idea; one writes, “As you note there are a lot of people strongly opposed to speed bumps, myself included. I My personal experience is that they force drivers to come to practically a full stop and then in my case scrape the bottom of my car, regardless of my speed. Rumble strips seems like an even worse idea. Noises from the street echo loudly into the apartments. Rumble strips will result in constant noise every time a car goes through the neighborhood (even when they are moving slowly), ruining the quiet nature of the neighborhood.”
Comcast Cares: When a member of the Georgetown Forum email list asks for an alternative to Comcast’s high-speed Internet services, others pile on with complaints about the utility: “I want to amplify that I’ve had horrible experience with Comcast’s service as well. While Comcast guarantees that their service technicians will arrive on time, they missed my appointment today. When I called to reschedule, the automatic answering service told me that I have to wait for 15 minutes ‘due to unusually heavy call volume.'”; “Very bad indeed. Every time I called them and spoke to different people each one gave me a different answer to the same question, very confusing!” One poster, however, offers this suggestion: “Switch to Verizon.”
Be Less French: A member of the D.C. Urban Moms message board posts this screed: “Listen, folks, DH here, and I’ve had it. Fulmination time. If I get another bday invite asking DD to come to some kid’s party but not to bring that kid a bday gift, I’m going to go all Dwight D. Eisenhower on them—build an Interstate Highway System all up in their grills. Come on. This donating of books, swapping of books—’second-hand’ books, for the love of the Goddess!—in lieu of actual gifts is compromising our children’s moral development, depriving them of valuable gift-giving experiences where the gift is appreciated or not, wanted or not, appropriate or not. I’m not French, mon ami. I believe in the Target toy aisle and its plastic riches, there to be distributed to our lovely tykes, every one.” This, of course, incites other posters: “Can you start back on your meds, get some sleep and come back tomorrow?” “I had no idea Rush Limbaugh was a DCUM-er!” and “please just don’t come to my party, jackass” are just a few of the 50-some responses.
But-You-Can-See-‘Ems: “Any bug people out there?” asks a member of the Shepherd Park email list. “What are these little flying insects that are all over my backyard, and in the neighborhood. They are like big no-see-’ems. Any ideas? they don’t seem to bite, but they do swarm.” “You are probably seeing mayflies,” another member responds.