Gore-a-rama: Thomas Gore, Mayor Vince Gray‘s money guy, pleaded guilty today to “illegally steering funds from Gray’s mayoral campaign to fringe candidate Sulaimon Brown‘s campaign, then destroying the evidence of the crimes in order to stymy an FBI investigation.” LL takes a few lessons away, including: Don’t take notes when you’re doing illegal shit, and definitely don’t destroy those notes. -2 Condoms Are For Sidwell Kids: At least according to a prank email sent to parents of Sidwell Friends’ upper school students (President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle‘s daughter Malia attends the middle school, which shares a campus with the upper school, though we don’t know if they got the message). The letter also included this delightful line: “Recently, the Faculty Committee on Student Life conducted a survey in which students evaluated their comfort with ‘grinding,’ a sexually explicit form of dancing, and other sexual behavior at school dances. Many students anonymously expressed that the pressure to partake in wanton behavior that they encountered at dances detracted from their overall dance experience.” We guess this prompted a fun conversation in the White House if the email got there. +4 *

We Don’t Need No Water: Let the personnel records burn! Or not. D.C. police and firefighters union reps want an investigation into why several dumpsters full (and one car’s worth) of papers were on fire outside of the city’s firefighter training academy last Friday. Why? Because “after the firefighters started putting out the fires, they realized that some of the documents were personnel files of cops and firefighters.” Honestly, D.C. Fire & EMS has enough fodder for some sort of scripted drama by now. -3

Get A Room: Gary Giordano, the guy suspected of being responsible for his traveling companion’s disappearance while in Aruba, was caught naked in the back of an Escalade in Annapolis with a lady. “While we recognize that Mr. Giordano enjoys an infamous reputation, the Annapolis arrest was simply a matter of effective police work in response to citizen complaints,” Police Chief Michael Pristoop said. +1

Friday’s Needle rating: 48 Today’s score: 0 Today’s Needle rating: 48

* Correction: Due to a reporting error, this post originally stated that Malia Obama attended Sidwell’s upper school.