City Paper is not for tourists
Frederick Douglass was born a slave but died as one of the world’s greatest fighters for social justice. And if a bill working its way through the Senate passes, he will soon represent D.C. in Congress’s Statuary Hall. Next up would be a statue of Pierre L’Enfant, but he’s already got an entire city for his legacy. Here are some unsolicited suggestions for more contemporary picks for Washington’s next statue, instead:
- Vincent Orange: “I’m the best, I’m the best,” were the bold words spoken by Orange at the D.C. Council hearing where he lost his bid for chairman pro tem. Maybe a statue would be enough for Washington’s best citizen. Scary thing is: what if it isn’t?
- Tim Craig: If you are a District politician living under a cloud of suspicion, don’t talk to Post reporter Tim Craig. No matter how confident you are in your innocence, talking to Craig for a friendly profile immediately makes you susceptible to an indictment by the federal government. It’s obvious from recent history that Craig was sent here to planet Earth from his own dying world to use his powers against D.C. politicians. Plus, he has a nice smile.
- Trent Franks: Arizona’s Republican Rep. Trent Franks is the real mayor of Washington. In his quest to ban abortions in D.C. after 20 weeks, like any great ruler, he didn’t bother with any fickle public opinion or “consent of the governed.” He didn’t even care if the District’s actual delegate to the House disagreed with him. He did what had to be done.
- The Fojol Bros.: The geniuses behind the Fojol Bros. food truck deserve their own place in local history—-not of them, but of their food truck riding a wave into the future. After all, the Fojol Bros. dressed in turbans and masquerading as part-time Indians aren’t being racist or ignorant. They represent the quirkiness that is now synonymous with D.C. and its culture. From one South Asian-American to a white dude dressed up as one, way to go. This naan is for you!
Photo by a loves dc via Flickr/Creative Commons Attribution Generic 2.0 License