City Paper is not for tourists
A regular summary of irregular news and notes from neighborhood blogs and email lists around the District.
A Funky Kind of Person, Indeed: Last week, a member of the Columbia Heights email list wrote, “Has anyone else been disgusted by the sight of bags of dog poop tied onto tree branches on the 3400 Block of Holmead Pl, west side? I’m just honestly not sure why anyone would do that. The knots were so well tied they appeared to survive the Derecho!” Quickly, someone blamed email-list rabblerouser and former ANC commissioner William Jordan, who himself chimed in to say, “William is much more a funky kind of person and has both more and less class than hanging poop in a tree.” The downward spiral of dialogue, logic, and proper use of pronouns has resulted in Jordan writing, “If it makes some of you all feel any better, I did get in trouble from my wife for hanging that poop. That’s the only authority I’m concerned about.”
Getting It In: A member of the Shepherd Park email list who lives on Kalmia Street NW writes, “We have noticed that cars2go.com has begun to use our block to operate their rental car business rather than Georgia Avenue or some other commercial thruway. I have noticed in other parts of DC that Zipcar has what appears to be official DC street signage indicating that they are authorized to park their rental cars. Can someone fill us in on why cars2go are parking in our neighborhood?” Another answers, “Car2Go has a special permit to park anywhere in the city that it is legal to park. If you look at the front you will see what I think is a Zone 9 parking sticker.” A Car2Go fan suggests, “Can we comprise? May Car2Go customers receive long term visitor parking passes? I just parked a Car2Go vehicle in front of my Kalmia Road residence. I find Car2Go to be an economical and viable option for errands and in-town driving. I luv it! My ‘great on the highway’ but high maintenance, premium fuel burning sedan is parked in my private driveway behind my home”; of course, a proper NIMBY swiftly responds, “Respectfully count my vote as no. Place the spaces in business districts and not residential areas. If car2go slips in what’s next.”
Radio, Radio: In a thread titled “Really, Really, Is There an App for That?” a member of the Shepherd Park email list writes, “Some months ago I questioned whether the patrons of a certain club were in possession of for lack of a better phrase, “intercept technology” that would allow them to know when 911 calls are being placed. I ask this again because the practice of these patrons leaving immediately after I call for the police is just too coincidental.” He continues, It happened again last night, around 4:00AM. There was no real noise, just a low murmur. I think the AC’s drowned out a lot of the noise. I look out my window and there were 10-12 people milling about in front of my house….I go downstairs and call 911. A few minutes later I return to my front window to observe and everyone is scrambling to their cars and driving off. It could be coincidence, but it happens too many times for that, in my opinion. Maybe someone is listening to a police scanner.”
Smoke It if You’ve Got It: Recounts a member of the New Hill East email list, “The other day I was in a corner grocery north of florida avenue when a young woman bought K-2, which she said was synthetic marijuana. She told me she’d bought it because she’s on probation and her urine is tested regularly. K-2 however does not show up. I have been told that K-2 is actually incense and is not good for people. Can anyone tell me about this k-2 phenomenon?” No other members of the list have volunteered information about K-2.