Rivers No-mo: Weezer is teaming up with another organization that has had difficulty maintaining its supremacy in the 21st century, Microsoft, for a performance at Pentagon City’s new Microsoft store next month. The problem here isn’t Weezer—-just think, now you can see your favorite ’90s band for free—-but Microsoft. They’re getting retail space? To sell “Microsoft products like software, gaming devices and phones?” Say it ain’t so. -1

Chickens Were Born to Flyyyy: Nicki Minaj‘s entourage ate wings and cole slaw from Nando’s Peri-Peri in Dupont Circle on both Friday and Saturday, confirming what we already knew: Nando’s is delicious. +3

Fifty Shades of Ick: D.C.’s public library system is so overbooked on requests for bondage hit Fifty Shades of Grey, they’ve taken to recommending other sexy, sexy books like:

Michel Faber’s “The Crimson Petal and the White” — a “story about Sugar, a young Victorian girl struggling to improve her social standing,” who “meets an unbelievable and unforgettable cast of characters” while spending her days “at Mrs. Castaway’s brothel.”

-1

Aspiring-Mayor-For-Life: Washingtonian is still beating the drum for Jack Evans‘s mayoral run, and its latest article on the Ward 2 councilmember has some gems. When asked whether D.C. is ready for a white mayor, Evans says, “Yes, I think the city is ready for a very competent mayor, and that would be me, who just happens to be white.” And when interviewer Carol Ross Joynt asks him if everyone wouldn’t rather Adrian Fenty ran again, Evans’s response is curt: “My understanding is he has no interest in running.” +2

Friday’s Needle rating: 43 Today’s score: +3 Today’s Needle rating: 46