People like to complain about The Hill‘s 50 Most Beautiful People list, but how can you not love seeing The Hill‘s writers strain to stretch any character detail into a one- or two-word defining trait? Someone who eats McDonald’s once a month gets the descriptor “McDaddy.” A woman saying she doesn’t like to wear pearls becomes “Anti-Pearls.” Genius!

The Hill‘s beautiographers may have outdone themselves this year. The best of the worst:

And, to end it with some creepy flair,

Then there’s the young woman who is just described as Floridian, who’s now probably thinking about picking up some hobbies.