Racial Slur Not Controversial: Redskins General Manager Bruce Allen says the team’s name isn’t going anywhere. “Although it might be controversial to some, to the Redskins and our fans it’s not controversial,” said the man who appears to think that “controversial” and “comically racist” are synonymous. As always, this song says all anyone needs to say on the topic. -10

Restaurant Critics From the Future: How could Yelp reviewers review Crios Modern Mexican before the restaurant opened? The only possible answer can be time travel. Watch out for the Morlocks, chrono-shifting foodies! +5

Sprung from the Closet: R. Kelly didn’t forget us. The R&B singer and Trapped in the Closet maestro had to skip a book signing in D.C. recently to treat an abscess on his vocal cords (gross!), but now he’s rescheduled to sign copies of Soulacoaster: The Story of Me later this month. +3

Saudi Society Fixture Cheats Death: Prince Bandar bin Sultan, the former Saudi ambassador to the U.S. and the current best friend of ex-FBI director Louis Freeh, has not been killed by Syrian hit squads, reports Washingtonian. The prince had recently tried to sell his Kalorama apartment at a $1 million discount to his FBI friend, but the condo board intervened. +3

Tuesday’s Needle rating: 79 Today’s score: +1 Today’s Needle rating: 80