Like Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette, National Zoo pandas Mei Xiang and Tian Tian are a famous couple that just won’t have sex, no matter how much—-in this case, a $4.5 million panda reproduction fund—-depends on it.

But now comes the new that hormones in Mei Xiang’s urine suggest that she’s pregnant, though Washington’s been misled before. If Mei Xiang doesn’t get pregnant soon, she and Tian could be shipped back to China.

While much of the commentary on the possible pregnancy focused on Mei Xiang, the Post took a break to go after another slacker panda: Tian Tian, who can’t get his panda pal pregnant without artificial insemination. With a few words, Post writer Michael Ruane demolishes Tian Tian like a Mean Girls Alfred Kinsey:

For his part, Tian Tian, who turns 15 next Monday, has proved to be a clueless breeder with flawed technique. In addition, his genes are not that valuable because his father has sired dozens of offspring in the captive population.

Geez, Post, “clueless breeder with flawed technique?” Guy’s already been made biologically irrelevant by his stud panda dad, no reason to rub it in.

Photo by Flickr user Cliff1066 via a Creative Commons license