We know D.C. Get our free newsletter to stay in the know.

Success! You're on the list.

Bar Rescue Does Not Disappoint: Remember when floundering Silver Spring bar Piratz Tavern went on Spike’s Bar Rescue for a corporate makeover, but then decided to return to the high seas? I finally got around to watching the episode last night, and it is bananas. You can watch it here. +4

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Yogurt: With Courtland Milloy on vacation and Robert McCartney sticking to his ages-old oath to never write anything interesting, responsibility for keeping the Post‘s Metro section afloat falls this month to Petula Dvorak. Instead, she wrote a column about how different men and women are on the issue of frozen yogurt:

We get the four-ounce nonfat, but then we sully it with the crumbled Oreo topping, employing fuzzy math that says calories don’t count as much when someone eats it with you.

And we skim the glop on the spoon over and over, lick it down to nothing and wave that spoon in the air to emphasize how stupid that boss’s decision really was.

Fellas be like this, but ladies be like this! -4

Bully: Is Teddy Roosevelt‘s unbroken Nats losing streak going to doom the team’s World Series chances? One Atlanta broadcaster thinks so-3

Cat Park: Vince Gray hinted yesterday that the city would soon be getting cat parks, to join its nine dog parks. +30. Oh, apparently, he was kidding. -1

Thursday‘s Needle rating: 90 Today’s score: -4 It’s Friday: +1 Today’s Needle rating: 87