Restaurant Rage: Restaurant starts serving fried chicken and doughnuts. Chef who already makes fried chicken and doughnuts is, possibly jokingly, not happy: “Fuck it. I’m so upset.” +3

Just Say No: An admitted drug user is running for office in D.C. What is this town coming to? -.5

Phanatic Phrenzy: Was Teddy Roosevelt‘s long-awaited presidents race win today tainted because he was helped by the Philly Phanatic? Philly fanatics think so. -4

Bully!: But really, how good was Teddy’s win? I can’t wait to find out what the big plot line will be next season. Will William Howard Taft join the racers? Will Abe and Jefferson ever open the hatch? +1.5

Correction: The Needle initially said the contested cuisine was fried chicken and waffles, when it is actually fried chicken and doughnuts. We regret the error.

Tuesday’s Needle rating: 81 Today’s score: +/-0 Wednesday‘s Needle rating: 81