Update, 11/2: The Office of Human Rights says the ad is not a violation of discrimination laws.

A new ad seeking “a renaissance bro” for a Mount Vernon Square apartment has a lot going for it, but respect for personal boundaries isn’t one of them. “My roommate and I are 29 years old…and can basically describe each others’ taints with our eyes closed,” writes the ad’s author.

Well! So begins the latest, and potentially greatest, installment of D.C. Craigslist bro weirdness. Living in this apartment will score you not just a room for $800, but membership in a committed bro pack.

But don’t pop your collar just yet. There are some other requirements:

  • No night workers (“We don’t want bartenders/restaurant guys coming in late at night on weekdays and spraying their hot jazz all over our snuggly dreams.”)
  • No leftists (“One thing is for sure, we love capitalism. . .so no occupiers or hippies.”)
  • No CrossFit adherents (“If you are into that don’t email me. JK, but no, seriously.”)

If you survived that cut, you’re welcome to hang out with them and their “pride of bro lions” in a test bro night. And one more thing: By “bro,” they strictly mean guys. No girls are allowed permanent residency at the bro pad.

“Sorry ladies. . . I like to bed you, but not live with you,” writes the author.

Bros picture by Shutterstock