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When will the long-suffering, 0-12 Washington Wizards ever know success? Or, let’s be realistic here: When will they stop being a national laughingstock? After last night’s 118-92 loss to the San Antonio Spurs, that day seems even further away. That’s what the Wizards Misery Report is for.

Until the Wizards have a winning record, I’ll chronicle their successes and (mostly) failings. Here’s what’s making the Wizards miserable today:

Last Shot Clock: Twelve straight losses in a row is bad, but 18 losses is infinitely worse. That’s the NBA’s current record for season-opening futility, notched by the Nets in their 2009 season. Fortunately for the Wizards, at least one person doesn’t think they’ll beat it.

Buck Up, Buddy: Sounds like the Wizards’ losing streak is getting to coach Randy Wittman. From Yahoo! Sports:

Washington was completely outclassed by the Spurs, who played their usual precise offensive game with pinpoint passes and lots of open shots.

”I’d like someday for us to play like that,” a wistful Wittman said after the game.

Aw, geez.

My Twitter With Andray: Andray Blatche, former Wizard player and Lapdance Tuesday promoter, has been enjoying his former team’s woes. Yesterday, Blatche, now with the Nets, asked reporters how the Wizards were doing, and has since been on an schadenfreude rampage on Twitter:

Indeed, after last night’s game, none of us are lol.