When last we saw the Daily Caller’s Mark Judge, he was explaining how having his bike stolen near Catholic University meant he was done with white guilt. “I knew that the odds were very high that a black person had taken my bike,” wrote the incensed Judge, who went on to explain the quick racial calculus that went into the presumption.

This week, Judge returned to the D.C. transportation beat. This time, he’s mad because D.C. speeding tickets are giving him the motorist equivalent of blue balls:

Cruising down Independence Avenue or up Georgia Avenue, you’d get into a grove (sic), like smoking a cigar or making love to a beautiful woman (indeed, D.C.’s ticket fascism is like having a girlfriend with a great rack and the D.C. city council telling me I can’t touch her).

While there are arguments to be made that D.C. speed camera ticket fees are too high, Judge seems to miss that the easiest way to avoid what he describes as “speed-trap Nazis” is to not speed. Instead, he spots a traffic cop, yells at him, and drives away unmolested.

So, I lost it. I came over a hill on Military Road, and there, on the side of the road, an unmarked car. A cop was inside, tapping away at his computer, racking up those fines, a huge jelly donut in his mouth (OK, I made that last part up). I rolled down my window and slowed down. I just didn’t care anymore. As if barking into the face of the devil himself, I pulled up alongside him and let him have it: “F*CK YOU!!!”

The cop doesn’t drive after Judge or do much of anything. In other words, a totally reasonable story that definitely happened.

Germans photo by Shutterstock.