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New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams visited Washington recently. And judging by her column title, “Nation’s Crap-ital,” she did not have a good time.

“I now know what DC stands for,” writes Adams. “District of Crapola.”

Adams’ criticism is all over the place, but largely sticks to two themes: Politicians are old, and D.C. is dirty. Below, a nonexhaustive list of things Adams compares D.C. to:

  • Filth
  • Islamabad, Pakistan.
  • A sewer.
  • A condemned building.
  • “A third-world backwater.”
  • A war zone.

She also doesn’t like our “junky clothes.” Unfortunately for Adams’ argument, she thinks that Georgetown isn’t part of D.C.:

You who people Washington, who enjoy the luxury of Chevy Chase and Georgetown, the Potomac, bike trails, affluent residential gardens of Maryland and Virginia, and choose not to live in DC, should be ashamed of yourselves.

But who needs geography when you have Purell-fueled fever dreams?

Drive into it, drive by the approach, see how rank it is. How murky. How smelly. How putrid. How vile. The area’s a sewer. It lacks only a dead body decaying there.

Slamming Washington for having the same problems other cities do is a classic story. But Adams, visiting at the same time that Washington’s median income and population are up and the homicide rate is down, could not have picked a more ridiculous time to write it.

But maybe I’m being too hard on her. Maybe she saw “BoomTown” and decided to give us some cover.

Cindy Adams photo by Shutterstock.