Have you ever wanted to invite Pigskins wide receiver Pierre Garçon to your birthday party? Or have Washington Wizard-turned-SportsCenter analyst Tim Legler to lunch?

Well, probably not the latter. But now you could meet both men, thanks to Thuzio, a website that lets you pay thousands of dollars to create bizarre situations with professional athletes.

Unfortunately, the D.C. area’s pickings are pretty slim. As far as big stars go, it’s just Garçon. If you’ve got the cash, though, Garçon possibilities are endless:

Lunch or Dinner – $5,000

Pierre will join you and your small group of up to 5 people at lunch or dinner. You choose the restaurant and you choose what you want to talk about. Pierre will share stories from his career.

Perfect phrasing here, which suggests that you are personally free to talk about whatever you want, but Garçon is talking about his career, period.

Celebrations – $7,500
Invite Pierre to join you and your guests at your birthday, bar/bat mitzvah, wedding, or anniversary party! He’ll be sure to be entertaining company.

Apparently, Garçon really lets loose at this one—no mention of career talk here, just “entertaining company.” That also makes it more ominous.

But these two choices are just the tip of Garçon-related potential. He’ll come on your corporate fishing trip ($11,250), or show up at your car dealership opening ($7,500). For the adventurous, Garçon is available for custom requests—price to be determined.

Pierre Garcon photo by Keith Allison used under a Creative Commons license.