Police: Suspect in Hit-And-Run Put His Keys Where the Sun Doesn't Shine

Police: Suspect in Hit-And-Run Put His Keys Where the Sun Doesn’t Shine

by Will Sommer March 8th, 2013October 17th, 2020

Most of the discussion about a Tuesday hit-and-run on a D.C. police officer has centered on how the District didn’t have ambulances to help him. But there’s more to the story, namely, suspect Kevin M. Burno‘s unorthodox method of storing his keys.

Burno was driving a white Lexus Tuesday when his car allegedly struck the MPD’s officer scooter. While Burno was being processed into a cell block, however, U.S. Marshals discovered he had kept the Lexus’ keys in an unusual place (emphasis added):

During a search of [Burno]’s person, U.S. Marshals recovered red zips of a green weed-like substance, and one bag containing six rock-like substances. In addition, U.S. Marshals recovered the key to the white Lexis, which [Burno] had secreted in his buttocks.

How do car keys, and not, say, drugs, deserve that most intimate camouflage?

There’s other evidence Burno wasn’t thinking clearly, though. According to an MPD officer’s testimony, Burno peed on, then started hitting, a police station heater.

Car keys photo by Shutterstock

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