A morning roundup of news, opinion, and links from Washington City Paper and around the District. Send tips and ideas to citydesk@washingtoncitypaper.com.

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A fez-wearing man in Bethesda has claimed a mansion, saying it’s owed to him as a “Moorish American national.”

LEADING THE MORNING NEWS:

  • Muriel Bowser to declare for mayor. [Loose Lips]
  • Washington’s strangest bathrooms. [WTOP]
  • New parking plans coming in the spring. [Examiner]
  • The gay pride parade is expanding. [Post]
  • Traffic tickets up in the District. [Post]

RECENT CITY PAPER STORIES TO HELP YOU MAKE SENSE OF YOUR DAY:

Photo of the Day: Man Blowing Smoke.

Insult to Injury: D.C. society magazines aren’t looking for ugly people.

Rumors Exaggerated: Despite the spin on new census figures, D.C.’s growth is still healthy.

Meatballer: The new pop-up at Hogo features Swedish meatballs. But without the IKEA horsemeat!

Brown Returns: Despite the support of Marion Barry, Councilmember Anita Bonds couldn’t beat Michael Brown in a Ward 8 poll.

LOOSE LIPS, by Loose Lips columnist Alan Suderman. (tips? lips@washingtoncitypaper.com)

  • Thumbs down for Michael Brown? [Examiner]
  • Paul Quander is afraid to talk. [Fox5]
  • Phil Mendelson says it’s an “embarrassment” that fire department submitted faulty fleet info. [Examiner]
  • Should Elissa Silverman return Sinclair Skinner’s campaign donation? [NBC4]
  • City contracting: broken. [Post]
  • Red-light cameras are a cash cow. [Post]
  • Pride parade moving to 14th Street. [Post]
  • Would-be prison guard union boss has checkered past. [Times]

HOUSING COMPLEX, by Aaron Wiener (tips? awiener@washingtoncitypaper.com)

  • NextBus DC is back, as iCommute DC. [Post]
  • Don’t be alarmed by that weird smell in your tap water; DC Water is disinfecting. [DCist]
  • Beware stampeding elephants on these roads today. [Google Maps]
  • The block around North Capitol and M is getting disconcertingly violent. [WJLA]
  • What’s better than Metro? Super Metro. [DCist]
  • D.C. will blow away last year’s record haul from speed cameras. [Examiner]
  • Apartment building could go bust. [Post, WSJ]
  • Phil Mendelson gives opponents of ADUs a hard time. [GGW]
  • Behind the scenes with prolific D.C. muralists. [UrbanTurf]
  • Metro may ditch carpets. [Examiner]
  • Buy this Virginia house and get a free Maserati. [HuffPostDC]
  • It’s hard to hang paintings in a round house. [UrbanTurf]
  • New York solves library budget woes by selling land to developers. [NY Times]
  • Today on the market: A home in the Highlands

ARTS LINKS, by Ally Schweitzer (tips? artsdesk@washingtoncitypaper.com)

  • Smithsonian begins cobbling together an agriculture archive. [WTOP]
  • D.C.’s Office of Motion Picture and Television Development revamps its website. [MPTD]
  • Duke Ellington students prepare to perform with Patti LaBelle. [WJLA]
  • American University’s WVAU, University of Maryland’s WMUC, and Sixth & I Historic Synagogue team up to present a Deerhunter show at the synagogue April 22. [Facebook]

FOOD LINKS, by Jessica Sidman (tips? hungry@washingtoncitypaper.com)

  • Honey Pig has a rap (watch above). [Eater]
  • The 47 coolest bars in the D.C. area [Thrillist]
  • Celebrate the new pope with wines from his native Argentina. [Drink DC]
  • Document protesting Fainting Goat‘s liquor license disappears. [Borderstan]
  • Some people can taste shapes and smell colors. [NPR]
  • Le Mediterranean Bistro coming to Fairfax. [NoVa Mag]
  • Zentan gets a new chef. [Post]