Tusk Force: Read this charming Washingtonian story on the money and many, many marshmallows that go into getting an elephant to a wedding in the D.C. area…then be outraged that, by law, it’s illegal for a man to ride an elephant in a District wedding. -6

Maryland Mischief: A parachutist jumped through National Harbor’s 19-story atrium for Red Bull today, because energy drink. +3

One for the Code: After complaints, the D.C. Council has finally put the D.C. Code online for free. +1

Squatter’s Fights: Apparently you can’t take over swanky Bethesda mansions, even if you are a Moorish American National. -1

Wednesday’s Needle rating: 91 Today’s score: -3 Today’s Needle rating: 88