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Who’ll Stop the Rain: Why’s there been so much precipitation lately? The reasons are multitudinous and highly unusual, according to the Capital Weather Gang. Shorter version: “Just the right constellation of atmospheric features…leads to an excessively wet outcome for the District and much of the East Coast.” -1

Slammer Time: Tommy Branch, who beat Capitol Hill resident Thomas Maslin, has been sentenced to 24 years; Ali Jackson, who stabbed a 16-year-old gay male outside the Howard Theatre, was sentenced to seven years; and Kevin Darnell Ray, who invaded and robbed a Bethesda home and forced a housekeeper to give him oral sex, has been sentenced to 220 years. +4

Book ‘Em: The struggling Lincoln Theatre will be booked by 9:30 Club owners I.M.P. Productions come September, and the new regime’s first shows have been announced. But why does the new era of this local Black Broadway institution look so lily-white? -2

Cry for Yelp: What is up with all those Clarendon hipsters? -2

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 74 Today’s score: -1 Today’s Needle rating: 73