No Jorts: The Department of Parks and Recreation has released an advisory on what clothing is and is not allowed to be worn in D.C.’s public swimming pools. The department is taking a particular and specific stand on jean shorts, detailing that both “cut-off shorts” and “long cut-off shorts” are verboten in the pool. -1

London Calling: An “East London-inspired” cafe and market, Duke’s Grocery, is headed to Dupont. Owner promises that cocktails will cost less than $16. +1

LeSabre Rattling: A 77-year-old driver drove his gold Buick LeSabre into a Sam’s Club in Gaithersburg this morning. Three people were struck, including a man who had to have his leg amputated. -3

Sibling Squabble: A 22-year-old Maryland woman allegedly stabbed her 23-year-old sister after they got into a fight over the car they shared. Make and model of the vehicle unknown. -1

Friday’s Needle rating: 58 Today’s score: -4 Today’s Needle rating: 54