April Fools’ Day! The day when everyone—-no matter how humorless they are the other 364 days of the year—-feels compelled to make a funny. (Not City Paper, though, at least until we figure out a way to top this one.) Today, unfortunately, may have been the least funny April Fools’ Day yet. Some glaring perpetrators among D.C. restaurants, arts organizations, and (worst of all, invariably) media:

Arena Stage: The troupe announced a “Supreme Court Theater Festival” featuring such dad-joke-worthy productions as Ready, Set, So…tomayor! and Not THAT Kennedy. I chuckled at Stupid F**king Amicus Brief.

(Bonus, I guess: D.C. theater company dog & pony announced its production of Briga’dune, a four-hours-plus mashup of Battlestar Galactica, Dune, Brigadoon.)

Chef Geoff: Just awful. If Geoff really believed in this joke—-which he sent to his email list—-he would’ve put it on a bus.

The Daily Caller: Neither funny nor plausible—-but just in case some reader, somewhere, was fooled, the conservative website labeled the item “satire.”

Taylor Gourmet: The local sandwich chain doesn’t serve beer. That’s just cruel.

Anyway, the realest April Fools’ Joke this year is that we’re having an actual election. Oh wait! Someone attempted a prank about that, too.