Earlier today, the U.S. Patent and Trade Office canceled the trademark registrations for the name of the Washington football team, and since then Twitter has gone mad with proposed new names for the franchise (which, naturally, is appealing the ruling).

Here are some of our favorites:

If you want to go full-on offensive…

We could have the team storm the field to “Pump Me Up,” which will be entertaining even if next season is as bad as the last.

Floppy, sloppy, and good when you’re drunk. Yep. Sounds about right.

Since we predictably forget the team by spring, might as well name them after something a bit more memorable and inoffensive.


What better way to celebrate the team with the running quarterback then with the city’s favorite running red panda?

Beam me up, RGIII!

Long-lasting, has crossover appeal, and quite possible the most loved local media personality this side of Jim Vance. Owner Dan Snyder would be doing wonders for his image by making the District’s beloved voice the new face of the team.


Re-invention is hard. The team has had the same name for 82 years. Prince had his for 35 before re-branding; if anything could work, this logo could.